Los Angeles, California
Before the Girlboss Rally: Stuck. Anxious. Doubtful – raw.
Originally I had picked up the #Girlboss book for inspiration after an Athletics Program I was a part of got cancelled – my sense of purpose was lost.
Fast forward to 6 months ago, I didn’t quite feel like myself. I had all the symptoms of burnout yet I kept pushing myself harder and taking on more work… a recipe for disaster.
Fast forward to 3 months ago, I was told to “relax” by my doctor and take a serious month off to get my s**t together. In this time, I re-evaluated my life and asked myself some serious questions. I came to the conclusion that my quality of life sucked.
So what did I do? I picked up #Girlboss again. I went onto the Girlboss website, and immediately came across the Girlboss Rally.
The event looked too good to be true. Everything looked super polished, the reviews were exceptionally high, but the only downside seemed to be the high price. Regardless, something inside me told me I needed to go, I needed to be there. I listened to that small voice we often ignore and took the risk. But found myself questioning… could all the hype really be true? Was this my saving grace?
After the Girlboss Rally: Liberated, fulfilled, uncomfortable, a high of emotions, empowered – wildly raw.
Speechless. Wow. Everything about this event was perfect. From the main stage moments to captivating panels and workshops, the speakers made us all challenge our own thoughts, envision our greatest futures, laugh, almost cry (some did), and be less narrow-minded by seeing different views.
The environment was so inspiring. Everywhere you looked there was a woman who gave a f**k. It was all over her face, nothing was going to stop her, she was going to get to where she wanted to be and then get further – she was hungry.
Women from all industries, thriving, connecting, and sharing knowledge. I wish every weekend could be a Girlboss Rally.
From this weekend, I can make the necessary changes in my life to reach the next level, and then go further; adapting and transforming only with gratitude on my journey.
My Girlboss Moment during the Rally was: Learning about how being busy doesn’t mean you are being productive, how $$$ is not just power but freedom – buy yourself that damn latte, and most importantly, reach for the stars – there’s less competition the higher you dream.
I honestly wish as humans we could reach inside and give each other feelings. Or since we live in the era of technology, a 10 second clip of what this feels like. I feel liberated. I feel fulfilled. I feel a high of emotions. I feel empowered. I wish everyone could feel the way I do now. WOW!!! Is this what thriving feels like? Because if so, I am game. This is f***ing amazing, and I am all for it.
Since I can’t share a feeling, let me share this knowledge with you.
There were over 100+ speakers and (extremely) successful woman to take serious notes from but there were a few that deeply resonated with me.
Here are some conclusions that I made based on specific workshops:
Binging? Not budgeting? Not speaking? Consider the following:
Workshop: Money Matters: Yes, It’s (Deeply) Personal
1. Financial Diet = Healthy Diet = Balance. Do not deprive yourself, you will only binge later.
(Importance: Buy that Latte. If that’s what you need to be productive, why not. Stop following social norms and the “stop buying yourself that damn latte and save your money” trend.)
2. You need a budget. 1) Life you want. 2) How to get there.
(Importance: Structure is so important in life. Especially as a student, when you feel like you have zero control… create control with your money.)
3. Learn the language of $$$. People at the top don’t want you to understand it, therefore be the change, start the conversation. Transparency.
(Importance: If you can speak it, you can change it. Be that change.)
To ensure you do not bomb your first pitch… Consider the following:
Workshop: Holy Grail of Pitches
1. Know what you stand for, and stick to it the whole time you are pitching. Never impress the other side, stick to your true self. (Importance: You are a bada**, you don’t need someone else’s opinion to dictate your own (all the Trump supporters right now).)
2. Risk Appetite: On a grid, label the ‘x’ axis as “Action,” label the ‘y’ axis as “Thought.” Label where you are currently. Where do you stand on the graph? Where do your friends see you on the graph? Is there a difference – Why?
(Importance: Get comfortable with the harsh reality of where you are at, in order to make the necessary changes to get where you want to be. Yeah, uncomfortable I know… but being radically transparent is the key to positive change.)
3. Parties to keep in mind when formulating your pitch: Advisor, Collaborator, Investor, Audience Member, Customer. What is in it for them? For example, ‘Why would the world suffer if it wasn’t for this thing?’
(Importance: Speak and act with purpose. Stop wasting your own time beating around the bush, otherwise no one is going to give a s**t about what you have to say.)
4. Have an audience specifically as a ‘refresher’ (individuals who build you up) to restore purpose/remain on path after you receive a, “No.”
(Importance: We all need that *aha moment* to remember that we own this thing!!!! Girl, you 120% got it.)
5. NEVER END YOUR SENTENCES WITH A QUESTION. ALWAYS END YOUR SENTENCES WITH A PERIOD. Confused? Watch your tone, if your tone raises when you are ending your sentence it comes across as if you do not know what you are saying.
(Importance: NO ONE HAS EVER SAID THIS TO ME. This is SO crucial for when the stakes are extremely high. Especially since you do not want to sound like you are asking for approval, you have to own it!!!! Show what you are offering is valuable, be authentic, be you, and most importantly, watch your tone.)
6. Think about space… Where is the pitch taking place? For example, if you are meeting an Advisor, go for lunch, ‘break the bread’ together. Not an Investor.
(Importance: The little details are everything. I live for the little details.)
– You know where you are and where you want to be. Who fits the gap? That is who you need to pitch to next.
Is it time for you to get a salary raise? Consider the following:
Workshop: Negotiating the Salary You Deserve
1. 3 #’s you need to know: 1) Wish (High specific or close to crazy), 2) Want (Target or dream), 3) Walk (To prevent you from being stuck).
(Importance: Preparation is key to setting yourself up for success. Luck is never on your side. Having figures in your mind allows you to be more in control of the situation when stakes/emotions are running high.)
2. Along with the target’s you have created.. find evidence. 1) Value you have created – ( 1.. Value you have saved (ex. John leaves the company and you fill in his spot. You saved the company $$$ and time.) and 2.. Your Superpowers (these things aren’t questionable, they just are. Your strengths.)) 2) Evidence of your performance at work (self explanatory) 3) Evidence from your peers – 3 Females and 3 Males (why? THE PAY GAP.. I KNOW. 2019 and we have a pay gap, shocker), have them be both external/Internal, what do they get paid? Note it.
(Importance: If you have all the necessary supporting evidence, you will be more likely to set targets that both fulfill you and are attainable. DO the work, and the $$$ will follow.)
3. Never ‘Anchor’ yourself by answering a question along the lines of “So.. what salary do you expect in this position?” before even getting the position.
(Importance: If you answer this in a negotiation conversation without doing your research, you have locked yourself in to a salary that they want to give you, so that they can save a buck. Don’t give them that power. This also means DO NOT WRITE ON THE APPLICATION FORM WHAT YOU MADE IN A DIFFERENT JOB, YOU WILL HAVE ANCHORED YOURSELF BEFORE EVEN GETTING AN INTERVIEW – Such a common mistake.)
3. “Speech is silver, Silence is golden.”
(Importance: After you stated your value and evidence (see 2.) and are ready to state in the meeting, “I would like a salary of x.” Do not speak. A common habit is it justify or continue to speak when it gets ‘awkward,’ waiting for a response. Embrace the uncomfortableness, you’ll come across as assertive and confident.)
4. Precise > Rounded numbers.
(Importance: An offer of $76,000 sounds like you put a lot of research into it. Again, the little details are important.)
Feel like you are the only one climbing Mt. Everest? Read the following:
Workshop: She’s Gotta Have Grit
1. Get into the pressure cooker.
(Importance: Don’t pray for characteristics to get through it, instead, pray for unconditional joy. Embrace being uncomfortable, it’s the only way to get through the pressure cooker, the fire, to get out and then reach the next level, the next pressure cooker.)
2. Reverse privilege.
(Importance: Financial comfort can’t fathom suffering. Build it into your DNA that struggling to reach new heights, is the only way. (Ex. Sleeping on a couch because your away building your legacy.)
TO WRAP THIS THING UP…
Yes, I know what you are probably thinking by now… Golden Ghrl got paid to promote the Girlboss Rally… Negative!! This was all me. It’s crazy to think about how liberating it was to write all of this because it was so raw and real (and uncomfortable because i’ve never done this before).
I sincerely hope that I have made some part inside of you light up, like the Girlboss Rally did for me. My internal flame is lit.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Sophia Amoruso, for bringing this weekend together. This conference hit different.
– Golden Ghrl